Carl Rogers
(1902–1987), the father of relational or client-centred therapy, having seen
his method and read him, was very Christian in his approach to therapy – he served
his clients. So valuable was his client’s experience, it was Rogers’ very platform into their world:
“Experience
is, for me, the highest authority. The touchstone of validity is my own
experience. No other person’s ideas, and none of my own ideas, are as
authoritative as my experience. It is to experience that I must return again
and again, to discover a closer approximation to truth as it is in the process
of becoming in me.”
Out of such
intrinsic ‘unknowing’ interest in the client’s experience, the counsellor is in
the perfect circumstance to build relationship, open space, demonstrate
genuineness, warmth, and empathy, and to nurture trust that’s assured of
safety. And from there is the starting point. But where it ends is a journey
that both counsellor and client travel together – in the Christian setting,
replete with openness to spirituality, theology, and psychology.
Such a model might
have appearances of entwinement, and of course it’s not that. Because the
Christian counsellor is a servant to their client, they know the client sets
the agenda, but that, in that, the counsellor always adds some value wherever
they go.
A Christian
counsellor will not judge or condemn an attitude or behaviour; they are moulded
by their own experience, and the power of love for acceptance. Only where there
is first, acceptance, is there room to entertain what might be challenged and
grown through.
With a Christian
counsellor, a client should never walk out hurt. A Christian counsellor so
values the relationship that there is the option of apology for a mistake made
in therapy. There will be such an appreciative approach in the counsellor that
the client has a positive experience or no experience at all. Certainly, if
nothing else is gained, relationship is enjoyed. In this way, the counselling
relationship is utterly unique. There is power, but not in the traditional way;
the Holy Spirit’s power is present when the counsellor’s power is vested in the
client by their servant-hearted attitude.
Christian
counsellors believe in faith, hope, and love, in healing and restoration, and
that is precisely what they hope to encounter with every client, every single
time; something transformational – in both of them.
Even if a person
were not of practicing Christian faith they would benefit from such an
approach. The exemplification of the fruit of the Spirit should be in the
Christian counsellor – they exude joy, peace, love, patience, goodness,
kindness, faithfulness, generosity, and self-control. Such ‘fruit’ compels an
attitude of grace toward the client, which is seen as flexibility, and that is
love. The client cannot lose, ever.
***
Christian
counselling goes beyond keeping the client in a holding pattern. Through the
relationship, which is inherently accepting, the client experiences hope for
healing. The relationship is genuine, warm, empathic, and wholly giving. The
philosophy is that the client cannot lose, ever.
© 2014 S. J.
Wickham.
Photo:
from Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counselling, by
Mark McMinn, Ph.D.
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