Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sex, Lies... Identity Crisis – Then What?

Recently I discussed the issues of marital cheating and break-ups which then lead to the inevitable identity crisis in the mate who’s cheated (and perhaps in both partners).[1] Now I want to discuss the fallout decision for the unfaithful person, and the two-choice theory that either sets them back on the right path or further plunges their souls into a self-condemned darkness.

The theory of choice is quite a simple yet powerful thing. As in the following of a path, the choice to obey our conscience and find a way back to a reasonable personal civilisation beckons. If, however, we continue to stray from the good path, that which is our chosen destiny, we stay in a wilderness land—basically for as long as we wish it—a prison for the self.

It’s the same deal in a bunch of different places we find ourselves. The path to right living is the narrow way that few in fact take. It seems most alluring to wander from the path of right living and follow the darker way, even for a while.

The darker path seems easier and less confronting, but that’s a trick. The thing we’ll then need to confront most when we finally do want to clamour for the right path is our denial and lack of courage in facing the truth, and these first, before the real stuff of infidelity!

The radical truth is we all make mistakes in life, and this includes the whoppers! For the most part, the world can forgive our errors if we can only acknowledge in truth what’s happened. The key outcome goal is an embracing of identity—denial kills identity. We, in fact, kill ourselves spiritually when we refuse to acknowledge key truths about ourselves.

So, we must embrace all the good and hurtful and wonderful and embarrassing things about ourselves. The more we can, the stronger our sense of identity and the stronger our comeback, and not merely for ourselves, but also for the family members still beside us.

© S. J. Wickham, 2009.

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